I have been living on and off in Cape Town for a total of about 14 years during the past 19 years and I met my wife for the first time at the end of 2017 when I was on holiday in Port Elizabeth. We got acquainted at a mutual friend's house where a bunch of us gathered for a braai, as we South Africans often do. There was an instant connection and we spent the better part of that evening getting to know each other. I was set to go home to Cape Town two days later, prior to which we spent every day together as she showed me the sights and took me to her favourite restaurants and even a movie. When it finally came time for me to leave, she convinced me to stay and asked me if I would join her and two other friends for a weekend away over New Years, I was hesitant at first, but I agreed to tag along. I ended up having one of the best and most memorable New Years experiences of my life. At first we were really just friends but things got hot and heavy over on that farm near Nieu Bethesda where we celebrated the New Year. Afterwards we went back to Port Elizabeth and I left for Cape Town from there. We stayed in touch but agreed that we weren't sure whether or not a long distance relationship would work and eventually we lost contact.
One of my hobbies is to ride superbikes and I usually take any chance I can get to hit the long road, so I decided to take a bike trip and spend New Years 2019/2020 with my friends in Port Elizabeth, the same friends who first introduced me to my now wife two years ago. And guess who shows up at my friend's New Year's Eve party? You got it, the same girl I fell in Love with at the end of 2017. Once again, the connection was instant and this time we decided to make a go for it. We would give having a long distance relationship a chance. With me being in Cape Town and her being in Port Elizabeth along with both of us having full time jobs, we saw each other once or twice a month. She would either fly over to Cape Town or I would hop on my bike and head off to Port Elizabeth, we would also have video calls just about every night when we weren't together physically.
One Sunday morning I was getting ready to ride back to Cape Town and neither one of us wanted to be separated so soon, so I decided to stay in Port Elizabeth for a few more hours, then I would leave my bike at her place and fly home to Cape Town, later that Sunday evening, which is exactly what I did. I knew that I would be coming back to Port Elizabeth two weeks later to attend my cousin's wedding. This was at a time when the pandemic just started and restrictions on gatherings and travel weren't imposed yet. The plan was to drive up with my brother and his wife, we would then stay at my now wife's place, attend the wedding, I would stay another week and then I would take my bike home to Cape Town that following Sunday afternoon. At the time, the company where I work started running tests to see how well we could work from home, should the pandemic cause us to stop being able to go to our offices and as part of the test I was set to work from home for three days following the weekend of my cousin's wedding, I then asked for an additional two days, thus me being able to stay for another week at my now wife's place and work from there.
I think it was on the Wednesday of that same week that the nationwide lockdown was announced and it was set to commence that Friday. I then decided to stay and I still haven't left the Eastern Cape since the beginning of lockdown. Before lockdown happened we didn't know where our long distance relationship was going or how it would work logistically, but lockdown placed us together and we really got to know and Love each other more and more. On the 5th of June 2020 I proposed to her at the pier in Port Elizabeth during one of those scheduled exercise sessions when we could take a walk to the beach. I chose the pier because it seemed like a really good metaphor for looking out into the great unknown, not knowing what lies on the other side of the horizon or in the deep blue sea laying before us. That is how I have always seen our relationship, I never knew what was next, but as long as we keep moving forward and taking the next logical step then things would work out and that is exactly how it has been. I proposed without a ring because at that time jewelry stores weren't open yet, but I took care of that as soon as I could. At least I know she didn't say yes because I flashed her a large diamond.
We're both in our late thirties and given our individual experiences with life know what we want, and don't want and what we want is each other. I just felt like seeing as we don't know when this pandemic would end or when the world would be safe again for large gatherings that we should just get on with it. So 22 days later, on Saturday, 27 June 2020 we both said "I do".
My wife found a marriage officer based in Port Elizabeth online, a Pastor Jonico Grobbelaar from Cornerstone Ministries, a non-denominational church who could officiate the ceremony. We both went shopping for new clothes to wear and on the day, the only people physically present were the two of us, my wife's parents (my parents are deceased and wouldn't be living in the Eastern Cape even if they were still alive), the pastor and our friend and photographer (The very same person whose house we met at, for the first time towards the end of 2017). So in total we were six people present physically. In addition we also sent out an invite with a link to a zoom meeting. The room, with the subscription I had, could only accommodate 100 participants (devices), but we sent the invite out to 170 people. On the day there were 83 participants on the call, but many people, sometimes more than five, depending on the amount of people in the household would all be attending using one device. We don't know how many people attended, but we estimate it to be well over 200. Many of our friends and family members got dressed up as if they were attending a normal wedding, made food and even put up decorations in their own homes. We then asked them to send us pictures of themselves so that we can create a virtual album. I also created a website where people could send us messages, we will add an image gallery to it later as well. We still have 70 unread emails that we haven't managed to get to, that's besides our phones blowing up the whole time. I had to turn off my notifications on the day so as not to get distracted.
In the end it was a huge success, especially because both of us have family living overseas who would normally not be able to attend these gatherings and we could invite as many people as we wanted. We're pretty sure that it was a first for almost everyone because no one else had attended or been part of an online broadcasted wedding until then.
We've only been married for a week, but I for one am very happy with this turn of events and truly grateful to be married to this wonderful woman. It goes without saying that lockdown has been devastating for many people, we know of people who have died from this virus and we've even had close relatives contracting it who by now, thankfully have recovered. We're not oblivious to the plight that this has caused, not only in terms of health, but also financially. That said, we're both grateful that lockdown has brought us together in this way.
Since then I have also applied to work remotely for the next two or three years, so even when lockdown ends I can remain in Port Elizabeth and still keep my job. At the beginning of lockdown we were blessed with yet another gift, it turns out my wife and I conceived a baby girl right before lockdown started, so no, she won't be known as a covid baby with one of those ridiculous names.
All in all, we're very happy and truly blessed that we could still make things work in spite of how the world has changed. I feel like we took the situation we are in and made the best of it. We just hope that the suffering of those affected by this virus in whichever form will come to an end sooner rather than later.
The newly married Earl is the LRC's wonderful IT person who has been generous and super knowledgeable. Thank you for posting this moving story Earl, and we are hoping to read the next installment of your unusual route to marriage and fatherhood!
Moving and engaging story. Thank you for sharing these beautiful moments of love and hope during a difficult and unusual time.